Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges!

Oh my! I haven’t blogged in quite some time. It’s not that I haven’t forgotten about it, it’s just that I’m not that interesting. I’m going through a transition period where things have been difficult and I’m in denial about the reality of what is actually my life. I’m still stuck in my glory days of my early twenties when things were crazy, fun, and carefree. The reality is now I am in my late twenties and life is not so easy and carefree. Financial hardship, “careers”, bills, and laziness have come into play. I feel I don’t have enough time, energy, or money to enjoy all the little things in life that used to make me so happy. I don’t like that. So I’m going to change that. I suppose I have embarked on a journey of “finding myself” again.

For starters, and trust me this was not my ideal choice, I’ve moved home with my family. I say family instead of parents because I have three other siblings living there too. It was something I had to do to get myself back on track financially. I hate to say, and I think Cyndi Lauper said it best when she said “money changes everything”. It really does. I hate money. I wish it wasn’t so, but in ways I do actually believe that it buys happiness. I mean, deep down it’s more than that, but think about how many people are depressed and anxiety stricken because they can’t pay their bills. What about homeless people on the street? When they get money they are so happy. How many times did I have to stay home in the past year and a half because I didn’t have money? It made me feel so pathetic and worthless. *sigh* This is why I hate money. I don’t need to be rich, I just want to be financially comfortable. I want to be able to go out with my friends and have a good time and not worrying that I’m going to overdraw my account. Or have a credit card balance that can save me in case of an emergency. To go on vacation…the list goes on.

I’ve also thrown myself into my workouts. I feel better when I’m healthier and I’ve really been slacking. I started out last year great and then tapered off. I don’t want to go into another year with my fitness routine falling to the wayside. I’ve been eating right and working hard and I want to make it part of my everyday life. It’s been easier making these changes since I laid down the ground work pretty well last year. This year I just need to stick with it!

I’m still trying to find my niche in the world and what I should be doing with my life. I consider going back to school to become a Registered Dietitian. I feel with my celiac and “healthy lifestyle”, I definitely have an interest. It’s the nitty-gritty of the program that leaves me questionable – the chemistry aspects. I was never very good at math or science, so I’m not sure if I would understand much of the coursework. As I said, I go back and forth. I guess we’ll just see what I decide. I would still rather open up a gluten-free boutique, but small business ownership scares me too. Ugh…

I don't mean to sound like such a Debbie Downer...my new and improved blogs are coming soon. Promise!

Til next time!

Hail Mary Full of Grace...

Everyone who knows me, knows my obsession with the Virgin Mary. I love the stories and images of her. I collect statues, candles, and Holy cards with her image. I think she's beautiful.

Having lost my job not once, but twice this summer really paid a toll on me. (More on that in another blog...) Having no where to turn, I turned to my faith. Praying to God I would find a job and be able to get back on my feet. Then something very surreal happened.

It was the week of the Assumption oddly enough. My mom had visited her Aunt Helen and during their visit she told her aunt about my unemployment situation. Aunt Helen, being the holy woman that she is, gave my mom a novena for me to pray. It was the Efficacious Novena of The Three Hail Marys. Aunt Helen said that every time she prayed it, her prayers were answered. My mom passed the novena on to me and I started praying it that Sunday night.

It was yet another rough week. No news on the job front. I was getting frustrated and really nervous about my situation. I had no money, no prospects, and was having a really hard time staying positive. I had an interview with the Department of Human Services to get food stamps on August 15th - the Assumption. I looked up where I had to go and it wasn't very far from where I live, so I decided to walk there. Along the way I passed two churches. Feeling spiritually renewed, I stopped and took pictures of the churches. One was St. Helen's Church and the other was Holy Rosary Church.

Later that evening, I met up with Amy and Jeremiah for Jeremiah's last day at the magazine. We decided to go to a bar up in Ravenswood. After a bit, I just wasn't feeling social anymore and decided to head home. I walked about a mile before I decided to hop on a bus, but along the walk, I found a rosary. It was sitting perfectly placed on a window ledge, as if it were put there just for me. I put it in my purse and continued walking.

When I got home I couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to start a book I had checked out of the library. It was a book about Mary and the miracles and apparitions of her. I opened it up and read the first story. It was about a little boy that is visited by Mary and she says to him, "Pray the rosary." After I read those words I got chills. My mind raced back to the rosary I found on Ashland Avenue that was sitting in my purse. Then to earlier that morning when I passed Holy Rosary church. Was this a message for me? I had been praying the novena. Should I be praying the rosary too? I took it as a sign that yes, yes I was supposed to pray that rosary. I went to my purse and retrieved it. I never prayed a rosary before and I didn't know how. I quickly looked up "the rules" and it seemed easy enough. Hail Marys, Our Fathers, and some Glory Be's. I could do this. After all, what did I have to lose? I had nothing left.

The next day I had a little bit of a breakdown. I felt so helpless and emotionally drained. I called my mom crying and made plans to see her that night. She gave me a pep talk and made me feel a lot better. When I left she gave me a copy of the career section of the Sunday paper. Maybe I'd find something in there, she told me. With only a few companies that still advertise in newspapers, I wasn't too sure, but I found two jobs and applied for them the next day. I got call backs on both, had interviews with both, and landed a job with one of them. My prayers were finally answered.

I can't help to think of the divine intervention of all of this. As I said earlier, it was very surreal. From getting the novena from my Aunt Helen to taking pictures of St. Helen's church the same day as the Assumption. Also that very same day, taking pictures of Holy Rosary Church, finding a rosary, and then reading in the book about Mary to "pray the Rosary." It's just all so amazing and I feel truly blessed.

Things are definitely looking up towards the Heavens...

Holy Rosary Church

Chicago, IL

Image of Mary on the marquee of Holy Rosary Church

Statue of St. Helen outside St. Helen Church

I AM a Gluten-Free Goddess

Pretty much anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a Gluten-Free Goddess. The Queen of Celiac, eating all that is gluten-free, and dontcha forget it. I'm constantly amused by those who are unaware of what is and isn't gluten. When I tell them I can't eat bread, I will get "well what about crackers?" Let's face it, crackers are pretty much a little piece of dehydrated bread. No cake, cookies, pizza, pasta, etc. The look of terror that spreads across their face is priceless. "So what do you eat then?" as if they had never heard of fresh fruit and vegetables; meats, chicken, and fish. I don't think I've ever been asked "Do they make any type of bread you can eat?" It's always just assumed that I'm starving and am magically alive by the power of sheer will.


The whole reason that inspired this blog, well two reasons actually, are that within the past month I've had two insane questions thrown at me. Two completely logical concerns, but ridiculous none the less. One coming from our new roommate. It was the weekend that he moved in and had just done his first batch of grocery shopping. (When we met him, we went out to dinner and I ordered a burger without the bun. After the waitress took our order, I explained why I don't/can't eat the bun.) So when he did finally move in and bought a loaf of bread, he asked me if it was OK if he kept his bread in the kitchen. Of course I had to laugh at that. It was nice that he was worried about contamination, but something I had yet to hear. The other, was just last week when Gillian, Lauren, and I went to the Empty Bottle to see Bang! Bang! (fabulous local band, by the way!!) Gillian asked if I could hold her beer while she ran to the ladies room. Then quickly added, "Wait! Can you hold my beer? Or will that make you sick?" We all laughed at that one, but again, I was grateful she was concerned about me.


I also wanted to mention that a few weeks ago I took a little part-time job (and we're talking paaaart time - I work a total of eight hours a week) at a gluten-free bakery and café in Evanston. While the job itself isn't the greatest, the food is delicious! Seriously. Even my non-gluten free friends were loving all the brownies, cookies, crisps, eclairs, and cheesecakes I brought home.


The sad thing about this is that for the past five years or so, I've always wanted to open a gluten-free café or bakery. I even enrolled in culinary school, but dropped out before classes started because all the extra gear like knife sets and uniforms cost too much. I really believe there is a great need to raise awareness of Celiac disease and living a gluten-free lifestyle. Take me for example. I lived years in misery before I found out I couldn't eat gluten. It is pretty cool to see that gluten-free foods are on the rise, but I wish I would have done something sooner to be a part of the gluten-free revolution.


With that said, I still want to do my part! This past spring, my only known gluten-free friend, Alexandra, and I decided to start up a gluten-free group. Not necessarily a "support group", but one in which we could share information such as new gluten-free finds, exchange recipes, and even dine out at restaurants servin' up some gluten-free fare. These groups, like the bakery and café, are also in demand. Alexandra mentioned that when she wrote reviews on Yelp!, people would contact her looking for the answers of all their dietary woes. She was like a savior to them. Where could they find gluten-free foods? What could they eat? What couldn't they eat? They had symptoms, were they Celiac? Only being able to tell them "I'm not a doctor" and "Check out my other reviews for more gluten-free places to shop/eat" she, too, wanted to do more to help these poor, poor souls...and their stomachs.


Hence, we established the gluten-free group, Celiac and the City. (Get it? Get it?) I held a kick off party in June. I had written to several gluten-free manufactures whom sent me oodles of gluten-free goodies. Only three people there actually needed to eat gluten-free (Alexandra, my mom, and myself), but it was the thought that counted. Since then we haven't done much to get the show on the road, but now that I've taken the bakery job, I've been inspired to get our group goin' again. I see all the people that come in and tell me about their allergies, and I want to say, "Join my gluten-free club!" But oh wait, technically we really don't have a club yet. In theory we do, but in reality we don't.


So that is the plan of action for this upcoming week. Alexandra and I are going to meet up and start planning. We will be the Mother Teresas of the gluten intolerant.

Coming soon! Promise!

The Year of Garbage

This post has been a long time coming.

A couple months ago while I was driving home from God knows where, I saw an interesting piece of furniture being thrown out in an alley. It was a cabinet of sorts. Old and vintage looking with a little, sad, broken door. It was love at first sight. I had to have it. A girl on a bike was checking it out when I drove past and the look on her face said "How would I get this home?" Having a car, and thus the upperhand, I raced around the block and barreled down the alley. A painting shrewn between garbage bins caught my eye, but I couldn't stop. I had to reach the cabinet before anyone else! By the time I got to the end of the alley, the girl on the bike was gone and an old Mexican man with a bright white mustache smiled at me as I awkwardedly tried to maneuver my new treasure into the back seat of my car. Once safely inside, I headed home, eager to show Amy my award winning garbage pick. Obviously she was just as excited as I was and I began to tell her about the painting I saw. I think I was able to speak three words: "80s" and "with seagulls" and she was instantly sold. "Let's get it!" she screamed and we both jumped back into the car. Needless to say "80s" and "with seagulls" was an understatement. This pride and joy looked like the artist was on crack and possibly acid when he/she created it. Complete with crushed rock (or beads?) this was TRULY a work of art. And now sitting in our living room waiting to be hung up.

High from the "we just scored some awesome free shit" buzz, we remembered the previous month or so when we found some REALLY great garbage. Our dining room is outfitted with a lovely pair of mannequin legs. We found a couple stools - one that was decoupaged (which needs to be redone) and the other bare. There were some other things, but they escape me at the moment. The point is -- there is some really good garage in our neck of the woods. Like, decent things that people would pay money for. The cabinet alone could have sold for $25 at a garage sale. Those legs? Well, they are priceless...but I'm sure no less than $15. We decided that if we keep our eyes out and collect things over a year, we'd have the makings for a pretty bad-ass garage sale come next spring/summer. Thus, the year of garbage was born.

On the walk home, right after we deemed this the Year of Garbage, we found a straw basket hanging out by someone's trash can. Dominic picked it up and instantly priced it a quarter. We knew from that point on that the basket was only the beginning. Many more goodies are about to be salvaged from curbs, alleys, and trash cans all over Chicagoland. They'll be priced to sell and will find their way into new homes to be enjoyed all over again. Nothin' says "Goin' Green" like a lil garbage-pickin'.

The cabinet that started it all, with the 1st item of "garbage" on top. (And of course any GP'ed piece of furniture would not be complete without my Virgin Mary holy candles on top.)

Greetings and Salutations!

Tonight I rediscovered a long lost love at 7:30pm - coffee. Oh. Wow. Coffee how I've missed thee. I've been avoiding all things caffeinated for quite some time now, and presently I am reaping its effects at 2:23am. Ha! I can't remember the last time I was up at 2 in the morning and not drunk.

Having failed at putting myself to bed, I decided to write in a journal that I've been having an on again off again affair with since 2000. That's right, folks. A true, honest to goodness journal. Sheets of paper in a vinyl bound book. Pretty old school. After I poured my heart out with my deepest, darkest secrets, I reread some of my past entries. My, how I've grown up. There were entries detailing my school work. All the papers I "still" needed to write. One where I was only months away from obtaining my Associates degree. One where I flat out wrote that I was not going to school that day, end of story. Through the years and collegiate degrees later my entries began to be less and less upbeat and I could sense that my creativity and passions were slipping through my fingers. I wrote a lot about how unhappy I was and how I needed to "change" (Barack Obama eat your heart out). This went on for a good...oh....five years or so.

It's all true. Black and white. Cut and dry. What have you. I downright know that I have "let myself go" and stopped creating art, dreaming big, and having ambition. I even said it numerous times this week alone. Amy finally is starting to unpack and set up her room (one year later...God love her) and she was pulling out handfuls of things I've made her over the years. Stuff I completely forgot about. Buttons, jewelry, collages, etc. I forgot about all the things I used to make. My neighbor was visiting yesterday and he got an earful of my Debbie Downer as we were talking about getting older. I mentioned that my life certainly took a turn for the unexpected. How I was able to do so much in college and think nothing of it. Nowadays I do nothing. I've completely lost touch of my creativeness. He reassured me that I AM creative, in that I put together excellent parties. That's just a given. Who I is?

A few weeks ago I went to a couple art galleries with my mom. She too has taken a break from her art. This woman is the real deal too. Artist and even an art teacher, she hasn't done anything in years. At one of the galleries we visited, her friend (who is on the gallery board of directors) mentioned that they are accepting submissions for new resident artists and that my mom would definitely be chosen if she would just submit her work. Looking to reignite the creative fire, she asked that I help compile her portfolio and submission. I did burn a disc of her work, but am sad to say she never did turn it in. We did have a talk about it though (previous to her failing to apply for residency) and she even encouraged me to "get back into it" as well. That we both could inspire and encourage each other. She and I work in different medias and I think those diverse forms compliment each other very nicely. I would like to see both of us create again, and I would love to have a show in the upcoming year of our work. "Like Mother, Like Daughter" Keep an eye out for our postcard announcement.

So with all of this said, I am embarking on a new chapter in my life. I will no longer write about change, but I will act upon it. I will change. And I'm starting now. Here's to you, new Betsy! Go nuts.