Greetings and Salutations!

Tonight I rediscovered a long lost love at 7:30pm - coffee. Oh. Wow. Coffee how I've missed thee. I've been avoiding all things caffeinated for quite some time now, and presently I am reaping its effects at 2:23am. Ha! I can't remember the last time I was up at 2 in the morning and not drunk.

Having failed at putting myself to bed, I decided to write in a journal that I've been having an on again off again affair with since 2000. That's right, folks. A true, honest to goodness journal. Sheets of paper in a vinyl bound book. Pretty old school. After I poured my heart out with my deepest, darkest secrets, I reread some of my past entries. My, how I've grown up. There were entries detailing my school work. All the papers I "still" needed to write. One where I was only months away from obtaining my Associates degree. One where I flat out wrote that I was not going to school that day, end of story. Through the years and collegiate degrees later my entries began to be less and less upbeat and I could sense that my creativity and passions were slipping through my fingers. I wrote a lot about how unhappy I was and how I needed to "change" (Barack Obama eat your heart out). This went on for a good...oh....five years or so.

It's all true. Black and white. Cut and dry. What have you. I downright know that I have "let myself go" and stopped creating art, dreaming big, and having ambition. I even said it numerous times this week alone. Amy finally is starting to unpack and set up her room (one year later...God love her) and she was pulling out handfuls of things I've made her over the years. Stuff I completely forgot about. Buttons, jewelry, collages, etc. I forgot about all the things I used to make. My neighbor was visiting yesterday and he got an earful of my Debbie Downer as we were talking about getting older. I mentioned that my life certainly took a turn for the unexpected. How I was able to do so much in college and think nothing of it. Nowadays I do nothing. I've completely lost touch of my creativeness. He reassured me that I AM creative, in that I put together excellent parties. That's just a given. Who I is?

A few weeks ago I went to a couple art galleries with my mom. She too has taken a break from her art. This woman is the real deal too. Artist and even an art teacher, she hasn't done anything in years. At one of the galleries we visited, her friend (who is on the gallery board of directors) mentioned that they are accepting submissions for new resident artists and that my mom would definitely be chosen if she would just submit her work. Looking to reignite the creative fire, she asked that I help compile her portfolio and submission. I did burn a disc of her work, but am sad to say she never did turn it in. We did have a talk about it though (previous to her failing to apply for residency) and she even encouraged me to "get back into it" as well. That we both could inspire and encourage each other. She and I work in different medias and I think those diverse forms compliment each other very nicely. I would like to see both of us create again, and I would love to have a show in the upcoming year of our work. "Like Mother, Like Daughter" Keep an eye out for our postcard announcement.

So with all of this said, I am embarking on a new chapter in my life. I will no longer write about change, but I will act upon it. I will change. And I'm starting now. Here's to you, new Betsy! Go nuts.